Yeah, I feel like I have changed. Actually, I know I’ve changed. But it’s not a bad thing. I’m a happier person and I’m looking (usually) on the brighter side of things. Not like I’m avoiding scary truths or whatever, I’m just happy. Happy to be living, happy to be with the people I’m with, happy to have the opportunities I’ve been given. Yeah, it’s cause that group Liwanag. Hah.
I remember last year when I joined, it was more like a, “What group is this…. This is weird. I don’t belong.” So after a few meetings, I stopped going. And if it wasn’t for my roommate now, I probably wouldn’t have gone at all this year. I’ve been a big-time hater. I still am, but not as big. It was still weird after a few meetings this year. I didn’t know anyone but I thought I’d just hang around. I’d just give it a try for a little while longer. Maybe it’s cause I was a little anti-social at the time. In a way, I was lost and didn’t know what I was doing. I’d be angry most of the time but I’d keep it in.
Well, after a while of standing by myself or near my roommate during meetings (which I still do sometimes, but I don’t mind ahahah) I slowly started talking to people. Sloowwwwwly. I would even do a little more action song movements. I remember I dressed up as The Flash for Halloween, ahaha represent. Anyway, I looked dumb (in my opinion) but I didn’t mind because I thought it was cool at the same time. I gradually got to know people and some of them even got me to audition for some solo during their Benefit Concert. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to get it because I didn’t know many people that well and it was my first time auditioning for anything. But I got it. -_-. Skip a few weeks and I accomplished a fear of soloing. First time singing in front of people, solo. Scary.
Well, I’m getting lazy. But skip another few weeks to next quarter and bam, Winter Retreat. That was pretty fun and crazy. Got to know people, etcetc. And over all this time I became a happier person. I even got to be in Main Skit and sing with MusicMin for Spirit Rally. Boy was it intense and fun. I’m happy who I’ve become and am becoming. I love the people I’ve met, I love the people I know, and I love my faith. (I was listening to all the spirit rally songs and made me want to type this l000l). I’m grateful and fortunate for all that I have.
Oh, weirdly enough, I had a dream that I was in a car crash and I got burned alive. I tried crying in my dream but I was so messed up that it wouldn’t come. It was a sort of dry weeping. Scary. Couldn’t sleep after that. Was TOO real. Anyways.. Yes, I am very thankful for what I’ve been given.